Thursday, April 7, 2011

Lord, help me if I ever get THAT desperate!

 I learned a valuable lesson today.

I was looking today on the county courthouse site for some public records for an article I'm writing, and let's just say I learned a little too much.

 Yes, I did a little bit more searching than I needed to, and thought about something as I found the name of someone I once had a crush on who got divorced a short time after marriage. (So kill me, I'm human!) I mean, it was such a short time period that they shouldn't have even bothered getting married.

 And that got me thinking about a bunch of things related to marriage. A bunch. Please though, if this applies to you, don't think that I am judging you. These are just my thoughts.
  • Yes, I want to get married, but not due to anything else except love and friendship: One of my dad's cousins asked me at a family get-together a few years ago when in the world I was going to get married. My mother's jaw dropped at such a rude question. I knew this cousin meant well, so I just told her that God hadn't brought him to me yet (which is true-Who knows though? Maybe He has and I just don't know it yet!). I would love to be married. Love to, but not because of any other reason than that I love them-and I have a deep, abiding friendship with them. To those people who have gotten married due to other reasons, please note that I am not judging you! I'm talking about me here. And who knows? I may end up in one of those situations of a "have to." I laugh, because it seems so unlikely, but you really never know. I will then delete this post. :)
  • Oh please Lord, help me to not act out of loneliness! I thought about this also. After all, I'm 36 and 40 will be creeping its super ugly head soon. Friends of mine are married. My cousins are married. I want to be married too.You all have no idea how fun it was to do a series of freelance articles about planning a wedding in my city and looking at all the wedding sites, flowers, etc. ( I'm a girl, what can I say? :) ) I can now jokingly say that I've planned the wedding, just supply me the groom! Even though I want this, I don't want to choose someone because I just want a husband. I know someone who did this, and I remember having this feeling before her wedding that she wasn't happy. I actually asked her if she was happy. Her response? "Ohhh, I'm happy enough."  (????) I believe wholeheartedly that marriage is a gift from God. I believe that marriage is forever. I just don't want to settle. I don't want to be happy enough. I want to be ecstatic that God found this wonderful man for me, and I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Ya know what I mean?
  • Why don't more people get pre-marital counseling? Yes, I remember how fun it was to peruse the Martha Stewart Weddings magazine with a roommate of mine ten-plus years ago. Let's face reality though, folks. Marriage is not a party. I personally think that people want the substance so much that they lose fact that they are dealing with a drug-user, an adulterous lech, yadayadayada. And then, they marry them. I believe we could cut the divorce rate in half if folks would go through pre-marital counseling first.  
  • Even with the best efforts and intentions, I too could end up a divorce statistic. And that scares me. I'm not one to go down without a fight, but I also know that things happen. Life happens. People fight. They say things. Things that can't be taken back.
  • And that's where faith and hope and prayer come in. God is so good. He is awesome. I totally believe that a good marriage comes from Him.
 And so, these are my thoughts. Married people, what say you? Single people, what say you?

(Single men, please note that if we hook up, please forget item #2...)

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