Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Zero to 100 in no time flat

 One of the things about pituitary tumors is that they affect your mood. Normally it's fine and I'm sweet and happy and cheerful and the nicest person in the world. When I get mad though, I can go from 0-100 in no time flat..... Brain tumors really suck.

 This topic had me thinking about an ex-boyfriend. He was working late and didn't call me before arriving 30 minutes late to pick me up for our date. I had also called him at work to see where the hell he was, but he shooed me off the phone. (I believed him then but later understood why he did it.) Let's just say he called after that when he knew he was going to be late..... Why?

 I screamed my ass off in the car.

 He flung himself against his door with a fearful look-with his jaw to the ground. He looked shocked and scared. (For the record, I have never hit a boyfriend and never will.) It wasn't one of my finer moments as I made good points at probably 10,000 decibels. He was very likely ADHD and I screamed at him that not calling me if he was going to be late was disrespectful and rude and to brush me off like that on the phone was even worse.

 I was tired of him at that moment and was going to get out of the car and say goodbye. I flung that seatbelt off me and saw it fly toward the closed window. I knew that window was going to break if I didn't catch it.

 I caught it! Yaaaay! But my mood remained.....

 I unfortunately had a situation at work this past week that although was much milder than the above one, took on a pretty similar theme.

 My boss has a terrible, terrible memory. Even though she can be really sweet and patient, she reminds me of my neighbor who is very open about his recovery and honestly admits he has brain damage and memory loss due to years of drug use. (For the record: I do not know that she abuses drugs or has in the past, although I strongly sense it.) She will forget like no tomorrow and makes assumptions that are so far out there that it's not even funny.

 This past Friday was no exception. I'm working on some high end stuff, so my work is being checked by her for now. Understandable and I welcome that. I was half asleep that day and probably cranky too though....

  My boss emailed me with two mistakes I made on a file. One of them you could tell I was just half asleep and not focused. The other was simply a dumb mistake.

 "You need to brush up on your materials. I can tell you haven't looked at them in awhile," she wrote.

 Baloney! I politely and dumbly told her back, "No, I'm half awake. I got little sleep last night."

 My boss high tailed it to HR after that.

 Granted, I've heard nothing from them, but I got scared when I went to get water later that day and saw the owner of the company's door closed with the HR rep talking to her.

 I think I said what I did because my frustration with her was pent up. I was telling the truth. I was half awake. Should I have said it though? No....

 Ninety-nine percent of the time I say thank you, I will do that and go about my work. I had it though on Friday. The woman forgets like crazy, is a poor explainer and makes half-assed assumptions. And I was half asleep......

 I will admit that there are other problems that I see at work. The level of processing we have to do at work has gone up to ten more than I do right now. Mind you, none of us are processing at that level, but my boss told me I should be at that level right now! I guess I'm special?? I said nothing back but felt like it.

 Let's just say I need work in this area. :) I'd like to eventually bring this down to 0-2 in no time flat.

 Is that ever possible though? 

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