Sunday, January 26, 2014

Facing reality and other stuff...

 Reality smacked me in the face this week. Hard.

 I'll admit that I'm prideful and try to do the best I can with a lot of things in my life. I've been trying to avoid something though. Reality laughed at me though this past week, as I could no longer avoid it. It came on strong and forcefully, which left me feeling a bit ashamed when all was said and done. Really, its been 8 years in the making and now, it's here. I knew this day was coming. No one would listen when I said no. I was right though! (Go figure!) I feel like I'm lying to the world and presenting a fake front, which I want to be done with. Will get into this more in the future, but needless to say, I'm depressed and trying to work through it.

 Reality totally has a way of biting you in the ass when you need it most. I need it now. I'm just not getting full-time employment even though I'm freelancing. I wonder what I'm doing during the interviews to sabotage myself. Also, like the rest of the world, I need to lose weight and am sabotaging myself with that one too. Badly. I'm just a mess!

 I know that I need to handle this and started to do just that over a week ago. I did an intake with a therapist through my medical group and she confirmed what I thought-I have major depressive disorder. I've got to admit that I'm impressed with this medical group because the therapist immediately hooked me up with my appointments this week. I see the therapist first (different one) and get in to the psychiatrist for medication the next day. We had a chat about medication, which I'm not thrilled about but see her point.

 Depression is an incredibly serious problem that many people are told to just simply "deal with." It's just part of life, so get over it and live, they say. Just fight through it.

  In the United States, roughly 3.5 percent of people who suffer from depression commit suicide. Sixty percent of those who committed suicide have depression. Tell your cousin who killed himself that he should have just "dealt with it." I guarantee you that the bootstraps you wanted him to pull himself up with were the things he hung himself with.

 I ask all of you to have compassion for those dealing with depression. I also ask you to see depression as the serious health problem it is.

 We need that. Badly.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

And then, a friend ended up in the hospital....

 Its been the medical month for me as well as the people in my life! A friend ended up in the hospital twice this past week. The first time, they thought it was kidney stones and sent her home after giving her some medication. I picked her up at the hospital because she was stoned (no pun intended) out of her mind (and the ambulance brought her). I've never been to an ER during flu season at 1 in the morning. Needless to say I covered my mouth and nose the whole time I was in there! The second time I did go and see her in that hospital.

 In the name of not talking about medical stuff though, look at the protest that happened in the city I live in. :) A homeless, Schizophrenic man died in 2011 after an encounter with the police at our local train station. A wealthy blogger publicized this, which lead to 2 of the police officers being charged with second degree murder and other charges. They were found not guilty this week, which lead to a massive protest in front of the police station. Here's photo proof. Yes, they're in the street....

 This was tame compared to what happened later on. Crowds literally blocked traffic in the downtown area as they ran through busy traffic. Someone spray painted an anarchy symbol on the police station and also spray painted the memorial site where this person died. It was 6 hours worth of this before the police donned riot gear to control the crowds and began arresting some of them.

 The medical stuff this week was fairly tame. I had 2 appointments this week. One is TMI and I don't believe the diagnosis. (I'm Googling and laughing as I read what the specialist thinks is the problem. There is no way. None.) The other was an intake for a problem I need to manage. I'm also happy to report that my weight loss coaching starts today also.

 Here's to a more exciting week this coming week, which only includes 2 appointments that won't cause me to laugh like crazy.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I didn't go to the dentist (but felt like it)

 I had more "fun" this past week at the doctors when I got my thyroid ultrasound done. Four of the nodules had grown to the centimeter range, so they immediately sent me to an endocrinologist at Kaiser to biopsy them. I immediately didn't like this doctor and felt she was quite arrogant, but agreed with her that it was best to do the biopsy right then so I didn't have the chance to think about a big needle going in my neck over the weekend.

 I got done with the biopsy, left the doctor's, got myself lunch and went home. All was well until probably an hour later when I felt like I got a shot of novacaine. My lips were tingly and my gums felt numb. So, of course I called the endocrinologist's office to ask what was going on. I knew she must have hit something and just wanted to make sure it wasn't permanent. Oh, her office called back and I could just tell the medical assistant was bs'ing as she kept saying, "Dr. N stated ---- and stated ----," in a monotone voice that oh no, this couldn't have been from my biopsy. I had to take a trip to urgent care finally, where the very nice doctor (seriously, she was) agreed with me that indeed it WAS from the biopsy. The feeling went away and all is well. (And I know I wasted money on a co-pay...) I'm a little leery of this doctor after my temporarily numb face, so I'll want to switch doctors if this biopsy reveals a problem.

 And then, today was another specialist for girl stuff. I know how to party. :) A friend who also had Kaiser recommended him because she loved him when he delivered her daughter. He says I'll need a D and C.

 And today was also a job interview.

 I know how to party! Lol. Hopefully next week's entry is more lively. :) 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I can't say I won't be using my new health insurance to the fullest!

 Since my new insurance kicked in, I saw my new doctor this week. Let's just say that I'll be getting a good value for my new insurance!

 I can generally expect to be seeing a doctor's office every week this month for a variety of issues, all of which are fairly minor. They range from taking a cholesterol class (my LDL was slightly high), to a thyroid ultrasound, to seeing two specialists. Everything has been rather painless, except for getting in to one specialist's. The appointment desk told me my referral for that person is under review, which she said meant the office was backed up. I need to call back in a few hours to see if I can make an appointment then.

 I was fairly happy with my blood work also. I was almost certain I was diabetic due to some things that have been happening. Nope! I couldn't be less diabetic even if I tried! As I said before, the only problem I have is with my cholesterol (LDL). The doctor wants me to lose weight and exercise to bring it under control.

 So, I guess HMO plans that your friends and neighbors have been on are just fine. :) 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

One Little Word, 2014...HEALTH

 For the past few years I've been picking a word for the year that's my mantra of sorts. The idea came from scrapbooker extraordinaire Ali Edwards. I love the idea and will continue it this year.

 I didn't really think too much about my word last year. GET came to mind one day, therefore that's what it was for 2013. And I did GET some things that I hadn't in years past. FIND was my word for 2012, and I honestly did find answers to a nagging health problem that year-and I also found that I can have fun too. ACHIEVE was my word for 2011, and I felt I did that.

 I'm choosing the word HEALTH this year. I'll be honest with you that I'm THRILLED that health insurance laws have changed. Because of some health issues I've had in the past, I was always told to kiss goodbye getting a decently priced health insurance policy. I had a HIPPA policy for the past year and-a-half that was honestly terrible and cost a fortune. It had a high deductible, which I had to meet in order to pay a co-pay at ANY doctor's office. I'm not kidding you. I really felt it was highway robbery! Because of this, I'll admit that I didn't see the doctor a lot this past year because it was simply too expensive.

 And now, I have a low deductible policy, which doesn't apply to co-pays! Yeah!!! I'm thrilled that it takes effect today and am going to get in to the doctor's soon, because I honestly think I'm diabetic. I can also get some other medication without feeling like I'm going bankrupt.

 Health goes beyond seeing the doctor though. I'm too fat. I need to develop a healthier lifestyle, which means a drastic 180 degree turn from where I'm at now. Physically, mentally, etc.

 And so, here's to 2014. May it be a healthy year!