Friday, July 25, 2014

Another week in my exciting life :)

July 19th-I couldn't believe it when I woke up to an overcast day! Really? Southern California isn't resembling the weather of Hell today? The day had a nice overcast feel to it.

 I woke up once again in the middle of the night. I've emailed the psychiatrist about it a few times. He suggested that I try natural methods first. If they all fail, I need to let him know and he can prescribe an old antidepressant that seems to do the trick. I don't want to take that route, so I'll exhaust the natural methods first. I had a thought though and wonder if I'm doing this because I'm anxious. I say that because I ended up filling out the chart I mentioned from the book Feeling Good, and I immediately felt better and could sleep. I wonder if they're anxiety attacks?

 I also continued on with my cleaning. I'm now organizing paper in my bedroom. Craft supplies to donate to my church's Children's Ministry have a pile. I found my auto insurance cards too! Yippee! :)

 I took my medical group's online total health assessment again. I've improved pretty greatly in the six months since I've taken the quiz. (My score went up by 12 points.) I know my depression has improved substantially. So, my behaviors are improving, I guess. Weight loss is actually the big thing to still work on.

 I was sad to see a Facebook picture of my friends taking their long planned trip to the city in the Midwest where my dad was born. I had thought about visiting with them (and was invited) last year but don't have the funds to do so. Soon. :)

 Aaaaand... I took out the trash! Applause! Applause! :)

 I swam for 40 minutes in the evening-a combo of casual swimming and laps.

July 20th-Today was overcast in the morning but cleared up by mid day. I was happy to see this change in the weather!

 I watched church online again. Goal is to be back next week since it seems like I won't be infecting the world.

 It's always so amazing that my pastor tends to speak what I need. Things may not be what I want, but it's still working out...

 I then tried a really great trail in the hills of Whittier. Hellman Park Trail is great exercise. I spotted this trail once when driving around in Uptown Whittier (it has great old homes) and knew I had to try it. I hiked for 30 minutes.

The smoggy mound out in the distance is Catalina.

LA is in this direction. 

 I've decided that this trail will be good to hike once a week before I visit my parents. That way I'll get my exercise in.... 

I also had dinner with my parents. El Pollo Loco is awesome! I haven't spent time with them in person for a few weeks due to the MRSA issue...

July 21st- And, I'm sitting in hell again weather wise! I'm running the fan this year instead of air conditioning to keep costs down and am thinking about a ceiling fan to keep this going continually. 

 The city I grew up in made the local news when a body was found in the bushes in the back of an apartment complex behind a carport. This complex literally has a stream by it with shrubbery. I loved that feature when I dated a guy who lived there, but I guess it has its disadvantages.... :( 

 Another bad sleep night. I think I figured out the problem and find it's partially related to what I eat the night before. I can't handle salty stuff and had a good amount last night with the salad dressing we had. The salad with dinner also wasn't the healthiest. 

 I continued on with my cleaning and realized I needed to not leave the pile of paper I'm going through in a pile on the floor. A box is so much nicer and looks better to go through. And so, it's in a box.... 

I need to get rid of the book on the left. My now former neighbor (a Cuban) gave it to me...

 I swam for 30 minutes this evening. 

July 22nd- I had a better sleep night. May it continue! 

 It feels like Hell again today! Blech! 

 Today was my once a week job. She's a very nice elderly woman and treated me to McDonald's. This one looked like a cafe! I just had a small hamburger and a drink. I'm going to try not to say anything negative, but let's just say it's time for a full-time job.... 

 I continued on with my cleaning. The paper containment area is slowly but surely getting smaller. 

 I swam for roughly 30 minutes tonight. 

July 23rd-My dad's 79th birthday is today! Happy Birthday to him! 

 I'm beginning to wonder if the root of my depression is anxiety. I woke up again in the middle of the night and used the chart again to get to sleep. It worked.... 

 I also continued on with my cleaning. Still organizing that paper! I'm making a great deal of progress with it. My desk is looking a lot better. :) 

 And we went to El Cholo's for Dad's birthday dinner. Great as always. 

It's not a birthday without a sombrero! 

This was the work of my mother lighting the cake too soon. Don't ask.... 

I was explaining to my mom what a selfie was. :) 

 And I swam tonight for exercise. 

July 24th-One of my neighbors said it was 106 today. Blech! I think the weather really affected me.

 Who woke up twice in the middle of the night? Why yes, that would be me. I had Mexican food for dinner, so I think the salty food theory is probably accurate.

 I continued on with my paper containment cleaning. The trash also got taken out. I'm so proud of that! Lol

 I also realized how stressed out I got yesterday evening. I thought about it as I swam today. My neck felt stiff and sore as I did the side stroke last night. I had none of that today... So, I need to work on my relaxation skills.

July 25th- The humidity went down slightly, but the concrete by the pool was terrible to walk on without shoes.

 I only got up once in the middle of the night. Yaaay!

 Paper organizing continued. The box is getting less full! Some of it is just receipts that need to go into their proper place and other stuff is trash.

 My only drama for the day was losing my scrunchie at the bottom of the deep end of the pool. I haven't swam to the bottom of a deep end in a few years, so a teenager got it for me. My lungs need to work on that one. :) I've had this scrunchie since the '90s, dang it! :)

 I was sad chatting with my next door neighbor Shelly today. She has cancer and is feeling down because she feels as if she is just existing while being treated for cancer this past year and-a-half. Her treatment recently changed to a stronger chemo, which I'm sure is depressing her. I pray that this round is working as it should. She's wondering if she should go forward with treatment if things continue on like this forever.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Another week down

I kind of like doing weeks in review again, so here's another week: July 12-18.

July 12th-I continued on with getting this room straightened up. I have a ton of craft supplies! The trash also got taken out. I'm really quite good about that now, aren't I? Lol

 I continued to go back through photo albums and quite honestly have had my fill for awhile. I came to some sad realizations while going through said photos also. Friends were happy, but I'm done for a bit. The anger amazed me.

 An area near a McDonald's I went to as a kid had a shooting/standoff situation that garnered media attention. The perp actually went to an apartment complex I remember a friend living in during junior high school. And the perp ran. Hopefully far, far away....

July 13th-The heat wave continued. It's a little cooler though and doesn't feel like I'm sitting in Hell today. On Sunday, go figure....

 I watched church online again. The goal is to be back next week without infecting the world.

 With getting the recorded message that I need to start going to my medical group's high blood pressure clinic once a week, I signed up for their online weight loss plan. (I hit the borderline high blood pressure group unfortunately at my last doctor's appointment, so they're going to check it once a week for awhile. No meds yet, and hopefully never!) It's pretty cool and will even email a support person for you. My friend Chris loves that. :) I feel fortunate to have a friend who I know will be a good support during this time.

 Germany won the World Cup! Props to a quarter of my ethnic makeup. ;) I also learned that a home for children in my city is part of the recent news of illegal immigrant children wanting asylum. I guess this home has been giving asylum for years now and the children have been attending school in the local public school district. This, of course, angered some local people who now want to complain to the local school board.

July 14th-It feels like I'm in Florida today! Talk about humidity!

  I was incredibly touched to play my voice mail from Saturday (woops...) and hear the head of my church's prayer team call to check up on me and ask if the church could help me out in any way.

 I also went to the breast surgeon because I still have the boil. Granted, it looks much better, but it's still there. I also was able to save myself a visit to the blood pressure clinic. It was fine and the medical assistant emailed the doctor my stats. He doesn't think I'll have to go back again-unless it's high.

I like these things on the ceiling at the doctor's. Lol

July 15th-I also decided to see another breast surgeon regarding this issue since the doctor is so rushed to do surgery. Get rid of the boil first, and then we can talk....

 I also emailed the property manager of my complex because I possibly need to do a bug bomb in this unit and asked what the procedure should be. It's exactly what I thought. I just have to be courteous and let my neighbors know the day so they can obviously shut the vents. I wanted to scream when one neighbor got upset by the possibility. I sent the property manager another email to try to get some more information before responding to him. It was exactly as I thought. It's my unit and I can respectfully do what I want in it. I need to clean more first before making the decision to do anything though. I will think about the best way to handle this should the need arise.

July 16th-I did laundry again and took out the trash. Hooray! Lol

 I did my once a week work again. I'm not going to say anything as it is extra money.... On the positive side though, my boss gave me some spaghetti sauce she made herself. It was good! (Quite thin, but good...) I love homemade stuff.

July 17th-I got a new diagnosis at the doctor's today-hidradenitis superativa! It makes a lot of sense after looking it up.

A pretty photo on the floor where the doctor was

 I continued to clean and am amazed that I now have literally two drawers full of blank cards. Anyone need a birthday card? An anniversary card? :)

July 18th-I decided after serious deliberations to cancel the breast surgery and get a second opinion. Even though hidradenitis makes a lot more sense, I wasn't comfortable with the doctor saying MRSA and then changing her mind a second later to the less serious one. I'm glad that my insurance doesn't bat an eye when you ask for a second opinion. The doctor they scheduled me with next is one I saw before and really liked. I still have to get an ultrasound for the other breast since I'm having issues with that breast also.

 I lead an exciting life, don't I?

Monday, July 14, 2014


I thought I'd mention more positive things that happened today:

-I could talk myself through something crappy.

-I continued on with my bedroom cleaning-and found spare change! Woohoo! :)

-I could actually sleep through the night with the fan at my head. Yaaaay!

-I didn't eat out of control. I do need to change my habits though of what I choose throughout the day.

-I was happy with some choices I made that I felt were logical.

More positive thoughts of the day. Stay tuned for more sometime. :)

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Top five posts of all time

 So I went through my stats the other day and thought it was interesting when I saw my top five most read posts. They are:

1. Project Life-a new way to scrapbook: This is no shock. Project Life is really cool and I need to get up to date on my album. :)

2. The one about my lack of cable: A post about how I don't watch TV. I think this got the second most amount of hits because I discuss watching lots of specific TV shows while dog sitting at my friends house.

3. I want to win...I want to win...I want to win.... All about why I wanted to win a Mother's Day contest from a local Web site. Okay....

4. Operation Condo Clean: the evidence of cleanliness: How I did a major cleaning at the beginning of 2011 and what I found along the way. Fun stuff!

5. March recap: A recap of March 2012; The only thing I can think of that this even made the top 5 is because a doctor misdiagnosed me with Celiac Disease.

It was interesting to see these stats-and also quite random! Project Life doesn't shock me at all, but the others are just...random. Anyway, it's interesting to look at and hope to look back and smile at this sometime. 

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Week in the life....

 An abridged version of my week in the life, July 5-11.

 July 5th: I decided to start my weekly recap today because I've scheduled all my posts and want to write where I've (sort of) left off.

 Today started with emailing two of my doctors. I really like that I can do that with this medical group.

 I also cleaned. Receipts from 2012 that I no longer need went in the trash-along with other stuff....

 It's so hot out! Big Bear, a few hours away from me, had an earthquake. It wasn't that big, so I didn't feel it. Usually if it's big, all of Southern California has a chance to feel it.

 I also took a nap and chatted with Robyn on Facebook.

 July 6th:  Last day of medication and the boil is still there. Not happy!

 I watched church online today. Hate being antisocial but kept thinking as people shook hands and hugged each other how I'd be spreading germs if I was there....

 It was a good message and I agree-you can't move forward if you're always looking in the rear view mirror.

 I also swam (I looked up what I have and it can't be spread swimming), did some grocery shopping and Facebook messaged for a little while with my friend David in Tennessee. 

 Dinner included an ear of corn. I obviously really enjoyed it. :) 

My craft paper holder box breathed its last breath tonight, so I reorganized the cardstock into its new home. OH. DEAR. LORD. This is too much! 

 I totally need to make some baby boy albums! 

July 7th: I wasn't happy speaking to an RN for the doctor who asked me why I felt it was important to get this boil drained. Um.... It's MRSA?! The doctor is on vacation for another week so they made an appointment for me to get in to see her the day she gets back. 

  I started the day by taking my recycling to be cashed out in the hot sun. I got $6.95. Woot woot! 

 The majority of that got spent at In n' Out for lunch.... :) 

 I then worked on banners to use to sell some albums online. Which one do you like? 

July 8th: I continued with my cleaning. I found Basset Hound hair! Eeegads! (I don't want to tell you how long Lucy, my last foster has been gone...) The trash also got taken out.

 I continued to work on banner ideas for an Etsy shop.

 The weather here continued to feel like I was sitting in hell all day.

July 9th: I continued on with my cleaning today. It amazed me that I found feathers as I cleaned. My mom had given me an old feather pillow to sit on after my February surgery. Said pillow tore and feathers were everywhere in my bedroom! I guess I didn't get them all when I threw out the pillow!

I also found this small birthday card. I think it is, anyway? It's small.

 It continued to feel hotter than Hell today. The weather is 83, but the humidity is high, so it feels like 90! I couldn't stand it and had to get in the pool. It was nice to talk to some neighbors in there that I hadn't seen in awhile.

 I started organizing what I want to sell on my Etsy page. I need to think about the photography next. I've noticed that popular sellers have great photography.

 I also spoke with someone who needs editing/copywriting work done. I'll go visit her next week after the doctor determines me to not be contagious anymore.

July 10th: Bills got paid today. That's never fun, but it's nice to have electricity and phone/internet service. :) Laundry was also done too.

 I also continued to clean. I have blank cards. I will not have to buy a card for the foreseeable future. All can be constructed. I kid you not. Aye yi yi!

 More cardstock was also found. I seriously need to donate some of it. It's just too much.

 I also had fun with Throwback Thursday on Facebook. Too much! :)  I found a paper while going through albums that was quite interesting. I got into GATE for junior high school (which was nothing-seriously) and this paper was a progress report of the year for me. It was mostly positive, but the needs improvement section was interesting. I wasn't organized, had poor follow through and had low expectations for myself. Depression much??

July 11th-I devised a method to actually get decent sleep through this heat wave-without turning on the air conditioning. Fans blasting air at your head are a life saver. :) I'm not in menopause, by the way. Lol

 I continued on with my cleaning and actually found money! Who says cleaning can't be fun? :) (It was spare change. Lol)

And so, there goes my week. I kind of enjoyed this recap. Maybe I'll do more.

Friday, July 11, 2014

A little art

 Some random art I made awhile ago. :)

(I figured my readers needed a break from my anger and rantings....) 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I just can't

 I know I mentioned in a few posts back that it was time for me to move forward. I gave no explanation, but wanted to.

 I realized it's in my best interests not to.

 There's a possibility that in addition to depression that I may have ADHD. This is no shock, as I was tested for this once before. From what I was told, testing doesn't conclusively prove anything but does provide valuable information. So, they're observing me over time to see if that would be true. It wouldn't shock me. They've tried medicating me for this before with the stimulants medications. Loved the weight loss, hated the feeling like I was on Speed. So, I guess I can't go that route anymore. I'm apparently not bipolar, but there is another option they're also considering, which I won't say.

 Which brings me back to my point... I'm going to move forward employment wise. I won't explain anything but will move forward.

 Explaining for me would mean dredging up things that I don't want anyone finding here. Things that are no one's business and will cast me in a bad light for any future employer. So, no explaining. I wish life was perfect and that I could explain, but I won't.

 Until then, carry on! :)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

(Hopefully) usable crafty work

I'm going to be in a boutique in a few weeks and am working on some possible designs for wedding guest book pages. The intertwining needs some work, but I like the idea for the most part. 

 Stay tuned for the final product! 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Funny finds

 I mentioned in my previous post that I somewhat organized my crafting supplies in a huge container to keep them at bay. That included taking a long needed inventory of  (paper) supplies I've kept for over 15 years. <sarcasm>You never know when you'll need something!</sarcasm>

 Did I make some interesting finds after I cleaned out this case....

(It's well worn...) 

Why would I need king and queen stickers?? I hope I got this in a raffle at a crop! 

Don't we all need patchwork cats in our craft projects? :) I think this was a find after I began scrapbooking. Looks like it was well used. :) 

I'm pretty intrigued by this find. I remember getting this at a scrapbooking store ages ago. Why?? :) 

 I'm going to attempt to sell the supplies that are useless to me now. If not, I'll find a group for kids that can use them as art supplies. You know everyone can use Trix stickers! ;) 

 Aaahhh, the fun stuff we find while purging the useless stuff.... 

Monday, July 7, 2014

Organizing the crafty stuff....

 As I've said before, I'm now into making mini albums.

 With the sudden influx of album supplies, I had to figure out how to store all of them without making a gigantic mess. I'm good at messes (lol) so this was an exercise of brain cells to see how I can appropriately store album supplies and the other stuff that'll make them look all pretty. 

 Enter the big box....

 I bought this huge container awhile ago to hold unnecessary crap. It was only this past week that I made the realization that the useless crap can go and the album supplies go in this appropriately sized container. (A separate post is coming about the purging of supplies....) 

 It's nice to feel somewhat organized. Now to sell some albums! 

Sunday, July 6, 2014

I'm at the point....

I'm at the point of no return. It's time to move forward.

Forward march! 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Summer plans?

I felt rather....unplanny.... after reading several blog posts about people's summer plans.

 I'll admit that I have one and only one plan this summer. To work more, earn more money and be in a better place financially. And to get healthy. That's kinda important. :)

 If a free opportunity comes along for me to do, cool. Otherwise, you know where I'll try to be. :) 

Friday, July 4, 2014

Weekend plans?

 It looks as if my gross MRSA boil is still there, so I won't be infecting the world this weekend with my presence. I'll be watching all the fun from home. :)

 Happy 4th to all of you though. :) 

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Rest in peace, plants....

 When you can't afford to live, gardening is the last thing you want to focus on. Not one damn bit.

 Still though, it looks bad to see empty space where there really should be plants.

 I had plants at one time. They've pretty much all died.

 Dead. Muerto (lol). Finito. Gone.

 This statue sits there though. It's cute and was given to me by a neighbor.

 I have so much to think about regarding this place that gardening is honestly one of the last things on my mind. Still though....

 One of my neighbors has a rock garden instead of plants. I like that idea. They don't require watering. :) Another neighbor has silk plants. I normally don't like silk plants, but hey, it works. Their place is jokingly referred to as the model home, so I happily look to them as an example.

 Until then, I'll be happy with my barren space. 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I want, I want, I want?

 I think I'm naturally content without many things.  I just am.

 It's for many reasons, actually. I think that as a Christian, I'm content because I know this isn't everything. We'll go to someplace better after this life. I may be worried about some things, but I know that in the end, with God all things are possible.

 I think that also, in a weird way, the antidepressant I'm on helps me not brood. I know I'm getting too personal here talking about medication, but I know this blog is for posterity-and I hope someone who is depressed can benefit from reading these words.

 I've also had too much handed to me. I think I'm overly content because of it. Naively content. Earning to get is good. It's a sense of pride to earn something. You don't get that with complacency. Once again, I know I'm too personal here. I hope a parent reading this reads these words and knows life isn't on a silver platter.

 Which brings me to goals. I have them in the back of my mind and get anxious even thinking about accomplishing them. Or I think it's too hard and that it's easier to give up and go back to it later. It's sad and know it's not a way to live.

 And of course I write them down and work for a little bit to accomplish them and then get bored. ADD much? lol

 I think I write this for many reasons. Things just need to change with me where I feel like I'm reaching for something. A long-term goal. Pride. Satisfaction. Earning. A job well done. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

It's all good....

 Instead of moaning and groaning, I wanted to focus on the positive of today.

 The good of today includes:

-Not overeating for breakfast this morning. I could stop myself, and it felt good to do so!

-Catching up on emails! I had 30+ emails I needed to read, and I did it!

-Taking photos of crafting items I haven't used in probably 10 years and posting them on swap sites on Facebook

-Organizing the other supplies I can use and putting them by my albums.

-Making a to do list and working through it.


-Taking out the trash (Don't look at the screen all nutso now. It was work to take it out there when the depression was untreated.)

Very happy about today. May tomorrow be good also.