Biblically handling a situation
Since I'm pretty vague about my last name and other items here on Facebook, I thought I'd talk about a family situation that I encountered today and how I'm trying to handle it biblically.
My mom called me this afternoon while I was out running errands and asked if I'd call her back. I did and she let me know that a family member called and felt that one of my Facebook statuses may turn a potential employer off. I don't mind hearing this information and would have listened if she told me herself. (For the record though, my Facebook statuses are only visible to friends. I also custom filter statuses as needed.) I informed my mom that in the future, that anything this relative wanted to say about me she could tell me herself. My mom agreed.
Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon situation with said relative. I've heard at least 3 times before how she has gone to at least 2 different relatives to talk about something I have done. I confronted her about it the first time many years ago after I heard lies she told a family member. She was shocked and apologized, but it has happened again and again. I hate triangulation. I'm personally sick of her doing this.
What shocks me is that said relative is a deacon in her church. Matthew 18: 15-17 discusses proper communication. "...Go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." I would have listened if she personally told me and actually did see her point.
I can't stop said relative though. I can tell her though that I'm perfectly capable of hearing constructive criticism myself and not needing it filtered through my mom. Which is what I did via email since I couldn't find her phone number. I had a friend read it before I sent it. I re-read it to make sure it was written by adult me. It was. I sent it and haven't heard back yet. I told said relative that in the future, if the matter involves me, please tell me directly and not anyone else. I don't think that's such a hard thing to ask. Is it?
I can't control anyone else. I can tell them though that I'm too old to bother with second hand chatter. That's healthy, and I also believe biblical. I also understand that I need to be careful with what I post on Facebook.
Family should be able to talk to me about it though.
My mom called me this afternoon while I was out running errands and asked if I'd call her back. I did and she let me know that a family member called and felt that one of my Facebook statuses may turn a potential employer off. I don't mind hearing this information and would have listened if she told me herself. (For the record though, my Facebook statuses are only visible to friends. I also custom filter statuses as needed.) I informed my mom that in the future, that anything this relative wanted to say about me she could tell me herself. My mom agreed.
Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon situation with said relative. I've heard at least 3 times before how she has gone to at least 2 different relatives to talk about something I have done. I confronted her about it the first time many years ago after I heard lies she told a family member. She was shocked and apologized, but it has happened again and again. I hate triangulation. I'm personally sick of her doing this.
What shocks me is that said relative is a deacon in her church. Matthew 18: 15-17 discusses proper communication. "...Go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." I would have listened if she personally told me and actually did see her point.
I can't stop said relative though. I can tell her though that I'm perfectly capable of hearing constructive criticism myself and not needing it filtered through my mom. Which is what I did via email since I couldn't find her phone number. I had a friend read it before I sent it. I re-read it to make sure it was written by adult me. It was. I sent it and haven't heard back yet. I told said relative that in the future, if the matter involves me, please tell me directly and not anyone else. I don't think that's such a hard thing to ask. Is it?
I can't control anyone else. I can tell them though that I'm too old to bother with second hand chatter. That's healthy, and I also believe biblical. I also understand that I need to be careful with what I post on Facebook.
Family should be able to talk to me about it though.
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