Thursday, May 15, 2014

Tick, tick, tick....

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I thought of lyrics here, but the image of a clock seems to be the best thing to use to illustrate my feelings. Time is passing. Life goes on. Passages occur. Memories are made. 

 This couldn't be more evident in the fact that two friends will become moms this year. One is already a mom through adoption and the other will be a mom in a matter of weeks. A zillion other acquaintances are also on the pregnancy bandwagon and have been for the past two years, it seems! Time is passing by and my uterus would like to join everyone. (A husband first would be nice though. :) ) 

 I seriously do believe I couldn't have handled parenthood before now. This is due to my depression and stresses that friends who read this blog know about. I've been plagued for awhile with stresses and issues that only now am I getting under control. I'm getting there though. 

 I guess I get mad at myself that I can now hear the clock ticking as it tells me I need to get on it if I want children. My mom hit menopause at 49, which is only a decade away for me. I would also need to hop on it if I want to adopt. My friend who adopted said the agency told them anyone our age seems old to birth parents.

Why have I not been at a place to have children before now? Why?? I can't dwell on that but can only move forward. Move forward as people ask me if I have any kids. My answer is honest. I always say, "No, unfortunately I don't. I'd love them though."

 I can only move forward and ask the Lord to bless me with children. I haven't asked before now.

 It'd be nice to be financially able to have them too. Maybe I need to get that under control first?

 And a husband too would help... :) 

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